The Alvin Show transcript
Cast Transcript Chapter 1: Theme Song *Playing Theme Tune On Tuba *Bob: If you like to talk to tomatoes, If a squash can make you smile, If you like to waltz with potatoes Up and down the produce aisle... "Have we got a show for you!" *Continues Playing Tuba *Entire Gang: VeggieTales, VeggieTales, VeggieTales, VeggieTales. VeggieTales, VeggieTales, VeggieTales, VeggieTales *Bob: broccoli, celery, gotta be... *All: VeggieTales *Entire Gang: There's never ever-ever-ever-ever been a show like VeggieTales! There's never ever-ever-ever-ever been a show like VeggieTales! It's time for VeggieTales! *(Crash) *Laughing *Announcer: Big Idea Entertainment, LLC., the award winning artists and creative team that gave vegetables a voice, presents: "The Alvin Show"! A three-decker consisting of one: "Stanley the Eagle", two: "The Ostrich That Hatched Dave's Car", and three: "Overworked Alvin". Chapter 2: Stanley the Eagle *Dave Seville (Bob): (on the phone) Yes, Mr. Kalenjin. Look, I'll get the song finished. *Alvin: Will you play with us? *Dave Seville: No! *Alvin: But we don't have anything to do. *Dave Seville: Do something then. Yes Mr. Kalenjin. Look I'm working! Oh don't worry Mr. Kalenjin I'll have the song done. Whatever you want, no. (hangs up phone) Now what is it you want? Just tell me, whatever you want; its yours. *Alvin: Dave, we have nothing to do. *Simon (Pa Grape): Besides, we're "The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything", right? *Dave Seville: Look. I'm busy. So go outside and do something. *Theodore (Mr. Lunt): Good idea, Bob! *Alvin: Like what? *Dave Seville: Use your imagination, do something - but do it outside! *Alvin: What? *Dave Seville: ALVIN!!! *(Later that same day) *Alvin: What should we do? *Theodore: I don't know. *Simon: What do you think we should do? *Alvin: Maybe build something perhaps? Like a birdhouse? *Theodore: Yes! Then we can get a bird to play with. *Simon: Like a sparrow. Or even a dove. *Alvin: What's the matter with an eagle? *(After an hour of building) *Simon: What a beautiful eagle-house! *Theodore: Sure is! What we need is an eagle. *Alvin: That's easy. All you have to do is close your eyes and think eagle. *(An eagle appears) *Simon and Theodore: That's an eagle! *Alvin: Yep. *Simon: If that's an eagle, then how'd he get here? *Alvin: Did you fly? *(The eagle gets scared) *Simon: Maybe he can't fly. *Theodore: Are you afraid to fly? *Alvin: I'll fix that! When I get through with you, you will fly! And that's why... What can you do when you can't get to the ground on time? You just couldn't use your wings to spend a dime. But don't lose hope! Because we're about to help this eagle fly. Please no more, do not cry! *Simon and Theodore: Well now, you are in a pickle, Stan. It's time to give this some tickling. Oh yes! We'd love to help this eagle fly! With all this work, we have no time to be lazy! *Theodore: This is pretty much the same thing as the time we did that one thing with that one guy. *Simon: Oh do I ever. *Alvin: I remember it like it was yesterday! Stanley, don't be afraid. Once you get up, plenty of speed, raise your wings and you will fly! *(Stanley the Eagle rolls down the sidewalks) *Simon and Theodore: Go Stanley go! *Alvin: Raise your wings Stanley! (Stanley falls in a manhole) Stanley, you didn't raise your wings. *(Later...) *Simon: Steady? Stretch those wings out and fly like you've never seen before! *(The eagle flies, but screams) *Theodore: Don't look down! Look up! *(CRASH!) *Alvin: It appears that this eagle needs to build up his flying muscles. *Theodore: Maybe he needs food. *Alvin: Say, that's right! Dave, may I get a quarter for eagle food? *David Seville: Sure thing, Larry. Eagle food, what an imagination. *Alvin: Okay Stanley, I think you're ready. Ready? (Simon and Theodore launch the eagle up on a parachute) Keep it up! I got an idea. Dave, I have to borrow your skis. *David Seville: What? Why do you want my skis, Alvin? *Alvin: I'm gonna shove Stanley off the roof! *David Seville: Wait a minute Alvin. Who exactly is Stanley? *Alvin: He's my eagle. *David Seville: Come here. You have no eagle. Eagles live only in high mountains. They're never where people are. They fly only at an elevation of... 14 to... What was that? *Alvin: That's the spitting image of a Giant Pickle, but in an eagle's body. *David Seville: Why didn't you tell me you had an eagle!?! I'm gonna call the cops. Now don't panic Alvin. Officer, I need your help! There's a 14-foot span wild eagle in my house! Come immediately! *(While Dave talks with the officer gourds on the phone, Alvin gets a bird book and leaves the house) *Alvin: Stanley, did you know that you're an eagle? And that you're big and strong, charming, handsome, why any boy in the whole kingdom would be happy to make you a sandwich, king or no king. *(The eagle flies away) *Chipmunks: Bye Stanley! *David Seville: This way men. Gourds, arrest that eagle! *Officer Jerry (Jimmy Gourd): What eagle? *David Seville: Are you blind? That eagle! *Officer Jerry: Jimmy, that cucumber got rid of that eagle already. *Officer Jimmy (Jerry Gourd): Yeah. Good riddance. *David Seville: Tell them about the eagle! *Alvin: You see, eagles are too predictable, too repeatable, too ordinary... They live far away from where people live. *David Seville: Tell them about Stanley! *Alvin: Stanley? *David Seville: Yeah! Stanley the Eagle, you know! And that's his house?! *Officers Jimmy and Jerry: Stanley the Eagle, and that's his house. *Officer Jimmy: Come with us. *Officer Jerry: You've been making too many records. *David Seville: Deja vu just isn't strong enough! Alvin, tell them about Stanley the Eagle! ALVINNN!!! Chapter 3: Oh Gondaliero! Chapter 4: Inventing the Baseball Chapter 5: I Wish I Could Speak French Chapter 6: Morning Benny *Benny (Pa Grape): Ah, the Lindbergh High School. Everyone works real hard here. They start at ten o'clock, they get to take lunch at one, and they leave at four. Here comes Sandra now! She's my favorite. *Sandra (Petunia Rhubarb): Morning Benny, how're you? You're feeling fine. I'd love to stay and talk, and I haven't got the time. Because there's so much work to do here so that we can't be late! *Houston (Archibald Asparagus): And now you're late. You shouldn't have spent much time talking. *Sandra: I'm late? *Houston: Very late! It's 30 seconds past ten. That will come out of your paycheck. *Injured Student: Excuse me, Mr. Houston, but I have an injury. *Houston: You'll have to talk to Principal Tucker about it. Morning Simon and Travis. *Simon (Jimmy Gourd): Are you sure it's a good morning? With all this work, well there is not a time for sympathy. *Travis (Junior Asparagus): We work all week just to earn a buck so we can send it home to our families. It sure would be nice to take a break, just a few minutes to play! *Houston: No breaks, or you're fired! *Travis: Yes Houston sir. *Houston: What? Bullies? I'll have to tell Scooter this! You should all be ashamed of yourselves. Hey Scooter, Scooter! *Scooter (Bob the Tomato): Ahh, what is it Houston? I'm in the middle of doing paperwork. *Houston: Oh yes exactly. I couldn't help but notice that we had bullies here. *Scooter: That's okay, Houston. That's why I had ejector seats installed to their desks. What else could I use the desks for? We could build forts! *Everyone in the high school: We work real hard here. We start at ten o'clock, we get to take lunch at one, and we leave at four. There's so much work to do here so that we can't be late! Someday our parents will come and join us. We'll live in harmony. We hope the day is near, until then you'll find us here at the Lindbergh High School! Chapter 7: The Ostrich That Hatched Dave's Car Chapter 8: The Brave Chipmunks Chapter 9: Inventing the Baby Chapter 10: Veggie Doodle Dandy Chapter 11: Golden Egg Chapter 12: Overworked Alvin Chapter 13: Witch Doctor Chapter 14: Inventing Flight Chapter 15: The Chipmunk Song Chapter 16: King Alvin *Simon (Pa Grape): Good people of Pompous People and Liberty Lane, we thank you all for coming to this place! *Theodore (Mr. Lunt): Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for the king who has ants in his pants.... *David Seville (Bob the Tomato): ALVIN!!!! *Alvin (Larry the Cucumber): Thank you, thank you very much, kind people. You know me right? I starred in every middle school play, blew every drama teacher away. Graduated first in my class at Julliard. Took every acting workshop I could, and I dreamed of Hollywood, while I read my Uta Hagen and studied the Bard. Hit the boards and paid my dues, and got phenomenal rave reviews. I knew the world was gonna love me, without a doubt! I was sure that The Groovy Brothers would be calling me on my phone, Mirabelle, Katrina and Sabrina would shoot me for The VeggieTones, but the years have come and gone, and I'm sorry to say that's not the way that it's all worked out! I'm a king ruling two kingdoms, King Alvin is the name. And I'm doing 38 shows every day, and every time it's the same! Look at those camels, they're wiggling their tails, just like they've done for the last 60 years, now I'm laughing at my own jokes, but I'm crying inside, because I'm ruling two kingdoms. Everyone must now bow and worship me! *(Everyone bows down except Petunia, Laura, Madame Blueberry, Percy Pea and Khalil) *David Seville: You called, Your Highness? *Petunia: No, not yet! *David Seville: My mistake. *Alvin: Oh servant! *David Seville: You called, Your Highness? *Alvin: There are five people still standing, and they're not bowing down. *David Seville: I think so. Maybe they're stuck. *Alvin: Hey, I said, bow down! Oh, well... Oh the critics they used to say, "I was the new Olivier." Thought I'd be the toast of Sundance, or maybe Cannes. Ah, but don't bother trying to IMDb me, the only place you might possibly see me is ruling two fighting kingdoms. It ain't exactly what I planned but I'm a king ruling two kingdoms, King Alvin is the name. And I'm doing 38 shows every day, and every time it's the same! I would've killed if I'd been in "Go a Plow", but what's the difference? That's all behind me now, 'cause I'm paying the rent and I'm swallowing my pride and I'm ruling two kingdoms. So tell me, why aren't you bowing down? *Percy Pea: Well you see sir, we make chocolate bunnies at Liberty Lame's finest chocolate factory. *Theodore: Oh boy, I love chocolate! *Petunia: Agreed. Alvin, we love you. *Laura: But we don't like you. Not more than anything else. *Madame Blueberry: You've been taught how to be wise, and Alvin, you are definitely not God! *Khalil: That seems true. You know what I think? Refusing to worship kings must run very deep in his family. *Alvin: What? You refuse to worship me? By the way, all five of you are fired effective immediately. *Petunia: But we don't work for you! *Alvin: And take your love for confectionery sweets with you! *Khalil: Okay. (He, Laura, Petunia, Madame Blueberry and Percy Pea all leave) Larry, you should know better than to goof off so that you can become king. *Guard 1 (Jean-Claude): The caterpillar's right. The pickle thinks he's king when he's not even a king yet! *Alvin: I'm a cucumber! *David Seville: Alvin, we got some disobedient worshipers! They always know whom they love the most. People of Liberty Lame and Pompous People; ready the pranks! All of them! *Alvin: Dave's right. French Peas, you're never gonna lead me to my unfortunate death! *(Everyone stops bowing down) *Guard 2 (Phillipe): Silly pickle, you can't be king because it's a big responsibility than what you wanted! You're only a young chipmunk! *Villager: My kids looked up to you! I even have a King Alvin plush toy! With sound chip. *King Alvin Plush: I love my duck more than anything else. The important person in the world is me! *Jean-Claude and Phillipe: Tear both the chipmunk "king" and his human friend, the tomato apart! *Alvin: I should be there on Broadway, knocking them dead in "12 Angry Hens". But instead I'm here telling these lame jokes again and again and again and again and again and again and again! *Simon: Oh yeah. That'll work. He's good. *Theodore: The king can do whatever he wants! He's the King. And don't come back! *Alvin: What have I done with my life? I should've listened when my grandmother said: *Miss Minchin: Why don't you major in business instead? *Alvin: Now my hopes have all vanished and my dreams have all died, and I'll probably work forever as a king ruling two kingdoms, King Alvin is the name. And I'm doing 38 shows every day, and every time it's the same! Look at those camels, they're wiggling their tails, somebody shoot me because I'm bored to tears. Always said I'd be famous, I guess that I lied, 'cause I'm ruling two kingdoms. I'm still ruling two kingdoms! *Jean-Claude: Let them have it! *(Simon and Theodore throw water balloons at several guards, while Alvin gets hit with a blueberry pie.) *Alvin: Mmm, delicious! *David Seville: By imperial decree people. I've been taught to be a wise songwriter, so give up all the pranks you've used everybody. *Alvin: That's correct! People of Liberty Lame and Pompous People, no more pranking! *David Seville and Alvin: Let our two kingdoms be at peace! And remember... God made you special, and He loves you very much. G'bye! *David Seville: Well, have fun being leader of some wise chipmunks. *Alvin: Really guys? You gave up praying to me so that the prank war would end like this? Now that's just silly! Category:Transcripts